This recipe starts with a story. I've had a long and tumultuous relationship with Ranch dressing. You see, I once loved it so, so much. As a kid I would dip to my hearts content, from carrots to potato chips. Dang, I liked Ranch so much, I would put it on pizza and sandwiches.
Then came the lactose intolerance. And I had to break up with Ranch. Good bye Ranch, farewell old friend. I tried to get used to having Thousand Island, or oil based salad dressings only. But secretly, every time I was out in the world and someone was eating delicious dip-able foods (tater tots, jojos, potato wedges- I'm looking at you), I became engulfed in lactose intolerance induced food jealously. If that's even a thing.
Until one day it hit me, I could buy a Ranch packet and make my OWN RANCH with all my lactose free friends (almond milk and mayonnaise)! So I did that, and it was glorious. Yay! All is right in the world!
Until one day, the Ranch Dressing Episode of 2009 happened.
It all started with a chugster (a little rubbermaid container for liquids- perfect for ranch dressing, I had used it many times before) of Ranch. My BFF invited me over for dinner- salad with grilled chicken, and I was stoked because I had just whipped up some lactose free Ranch and because she told me that she had just purchased the new Super Mario Bros. Game for the Wii!
I was rushing around getting ready to go and grabbing things I needed and throwing them in my purse: wallet, car keys, sunglasses, notebook, couple Wii remotes and the Ranch dressing.
When I arrived at my friend's house, the Ranch dressing, as you may have suspected, had exploded in my purse. Or I guess the top just opened and it all dumped out, because who puts Ranch dressing in their purse!?! Either way, my purse was full of ranch purse soup, and it was not only disgusting, but damaging. My poor Wii remotes were dead. Our video gaming plans had been ruined, and I ate a dry salad.
All I can tell you is, after cleaning up that mess, I was kind of OVER Ranch dressing. Especially my own special Ranch. But I have recently started craving it again, and this time I was set on making my own spice mixture- something I have done for other recipes, like the vegan version of Parking Lot Chip Dip.
I really like making my own spice mixtures because they are so much less expensive than buying packets, but also because i can control and adjust the levels of different spices to suit the recipe to my likes and dietary needs. This spice mixture doesn't have any salt in it. That's a plus because with this dressing being made of mayo, it has plenty of salt already in it. It also doesn't have any powdered milk, but it is not missed. This Ranch is perfectly creamy. So it's a win for those of us with dairy issues as well.
It all comes together super quick and easy in a mason jar- perfect for shaking together and refrigerating in. However, I still wouldn't recommend carrying it in your purse!
Homemade Ranch Dressing Recipe
1 tbsp dried parsley
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp black pepper
3/4 cup - 1 cup milk*, depending on how thick you like your dressing
1 cup mayonnaise
*or milk alternative- I prefer to use lactose free milk for this because it's thicker than almond milk, but unsweetened almond, soy or cashew milk would be fine.
I used whole milk and light mayonnaise because that's what I had on hand.